


Lockdown Drill

by TheAverageOne11



Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, lockdown - Freeform, zalexweek2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25103683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAverageOne11/pseuds/TheAverageOne11
Summary: Alternate take on 13 Reasons Why Season 4 Episode 6 - ThursdayZach and Alex hide in the robotics classroom together and finally have a heart-to-heart about everything going on between them, quite literally too.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816006
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76
Collections: Zalex Week 2k20





	Lockdown Drill

**Author's Note:**

> For Zalex Week Day 1 - Hurt/Comfort (yes, another one lol)  
> If y'all haven't heard about Zalex Week yet, but want to participate, here's the link:  
> https://zalexweek2k20.tumblr.com/

"How's your arm and leg?" asked Alex, walking up to his locker after their second period. He was wearing a jean jacket and a white shirt, making him look really cute with his perfectly messy brown hair.

"About as well as you'd expect after getting catapulted out of my car." Zach replied with a somewhat bitter tone. But Alex didn't seem to mind, only giving him a weak smile.

"I can't believe you let Clay drive... When I heard what happened to you-" Alex started, finally catching Zach's attention, but he stopped himself. The brunet's gaze was unsure, as if it was looking for a way to say something. Just as Zach was about to tease him, a technique that always seemed to ease the tension between them, or so he thought anyway, a loud announcement echoed through the speakers in the halls.

**"May I have your attention please. We are currently moving into a lockdown situation. Code Red. This is a hard lockdown. Staff. please initiate lockdown procedure immediately. Students, please do not panic, and listen closely to this announcement and the instructions of your teacher. Seek immediate shelter in the nearest classroom. I repeat. This is a Code Red. Hard lockdown."**

Zach and Alex glanced at each other, before looking around them. There was no one around them and the nearest classroom was the robotics classroom.

"Code red? That's... That's active shooter, right?" asked Alex, his face nervous and frightened. But Zach wasn't really concerned. Even if he was, he was too tipsy to even care. He assumed this was just another one of Bolin's manipulative tactics to do a drill.

"Yea, don't worry about it, it's probably just another stupid drill." He said, trying to comfort Alex. "Come on, let's get this over with." Zach added, heading towards the robotics classroom, Alex following suit. As Alex entered the room, Zach closed the door behind him.

Immediately afterwards he moved to push the desk in front of the door so he can barricade them. But he was broken now. He barely had 1 good arm and 1 good leg. His entire future was in shambles because of it. A sudden fit of rage overtook him and he pushed the desk desperately, yelling at the top of his lungs as he did so. When the desk barely inched, he started hammering at it with the bottom of his clenched hand.

"FUCK! DAMN IT!" When he finally stopped, he was panting, out of breath. It took him a moment to realize that Alex was with him. As he looked up at the other boy's face, he expected him to be freaked out, or maybe scared of him, but he wasn't; he was just giving him a concerned look, waiting for Zach to let all his frustration out, before moving to the other end of the desk.

"It's okay. Let me. You go grab some chairs." said Alex. Zach obliged and moved out of the way, not daring to say a single word. As he went to grab a chair, he couldn't help but look at Alex. He keeps getting more and more muscular thanks to his regular PE sessions, turning his former disability into a blessing that's making him stronger than he ever was. But it still took his full force just to be able to push that heavy ass desk all the way to the door. Yet still, he managed to do all of that faster than Zach could carry a simple chair across the room.

"Here, let me." Alex said, grabbing a hold of the chair Zach had managed to drag along half-way across.

"It's fine, I got it." Zach replied coldly, trying not to let his anger out again. He really hated feeling useless, surely Alex knew how that felt like.

"I know you got it, I just want all the exercise for myself. I'm selfish like that." said Alex. That caught Zach off guard. For the past few days, his mother and sister didn't let him do anything, especially his mother. They made him feel even more broken than he actually was. But Alex didn't. He knew that Zach could carry the chair by himself, he just didn't want him to. Zach didn't think he would ever notice a subtle difference like that, but he did, and he appreciated it. He hadn't even realized that Alex had already taken the chair from his grasp.

"Was I this annoying when I was carrying you around the entire school last year?" Zach teased, smiling as he picked up another chair. He wasn't about to let Alex have the win that easily,

"Yup, you sure were." Alex laughed, cutting Zach off again and taking the chair from him half-way through. There was a blush on his face too though. "But you also helped me, more than anyone else. I'd still be walking around with a cane without you." Ales added, placing the chair on top of the desk, upside-down on the other one. Zach smiled at that, and looked away, feeling his cheeks turning red. Funny how those were the darkest periods of both of their lives, between Hannah. the trial, and Alex's own suicide attempt, yet they still reminisce so blissfully about it. As if those were the good-old days. Things just keep getting more and more complicated for them.

In just a couple of short minutes they had a pretty good barricade in front of the door. Between the unnaturally heavy desk blocking the door, and the few chairs adding even more weight. As Alex turned back to face him after placing the last chair, he found Zach with a bottle of 'water' and a pill. But Alex already knew Zach was on medication.

"Vicodin, huh? That's for the car accident?" Alex asked anyway, looking at him with concern again. Zach just nodded in response as he downed the pill with his bottle of 'water' that Alex knew wasn't actually water. "And the vodka?" As soon as those words left his lips he saw Zach's uncomfortable gaze. Everyone was bothering Zach about his alcoholism, bringing it up to the point where it was annoying. "Sorry, I can smell it from here." Alex added, before finally sitting down on the floor, behind one of the desks, facing the opposite side of the entrance which they barricaded. Zach joined him silently.

It was quiet between them then. Neither saying a single word, just staring into the blank wall in front of them. There was a lot of tension between them, Zach knew that. They never really talked about what happened between them. They just assumed the roles of 'gay guy likes straight best friend' and left it at that. But the truth was Zach is still confused. Not a day went by where he didn't think about what happened between them and the way he reacted. Zach knew he reacted the way a guy who wasn't interested was supposed to. He'd seen enough movies to know that you shouldn't freak out nor let them leave; the problem was, he wasn't sure that was how he really felt.

The thing about getting drunk everyday, you become numb to pretty much everything. It all just becomes a joke to you. Searing migraines, not remembering chunks of the day, it made coping with the new life of Zach's a lot easier. Unfortunately, it also made thinking about things a lot more difficult. How did he feel about Alex? Was that something he was just supposed to know. He couldn't recognize the feelings he had for Alex, because, he never really had them for anyone else. He had only ever been attracted to, and loved girls his whole life. Did he not love them? Did he love Alex? Or maybe he loved both of them. Has he ever even been in love? Was he just feeling something else that he thought was the love people talked about?

He raised his knee up, pressing it close to his stomach and holding it with his only functioning arm, trying to avoid getting stiff. He looked at Alex then, for the first time in a couple of minutes of silence. Was he attracted to Alex? Zach didn't know the answer to that question either. He was adorable - beautiful even - with his ocean blue eyes, ruffled brown hair, perfectly covering his forehead, lean body, but far shorter and skinnier than himself. Basically the body type Zach was used to. He would think about it sometimes, what it would be like to kiss Alex, undress him, cover his body with his own. He liked it and it stirred something inside of him. it felt like something he could do, it felt right. But he didn't feel that way about any other guy he knew.

"What's wrong?" asked Alex, worried look on his face, meeting his eyes. _Crap_. He hadn't even realized he caught him staring, or that he was even staring at the smaller boy. He looked away gently, not to arouse suspicion and thought about what to say next. He remembered their conversation prior to the whole lockdown, and he suddenly got curious.

"When you..." Zach started, feeling Alex's gaze intensifying on the side of his face. "How did you feel when you found about the car crash? You never got to tell me." Zach said coyly, finally looking at the other boy again, who suddenly looked a little embarrassed.

"I guess... I guess I was just afraid of losing you." He admitted. "If I lost another person I loved, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it." Zach's breath hitched. _People he loved._

"You would. You're the strongest person I know. After everything that's happened to you and you're still the kindest person I know." said Zach, not being able to gloss over Alex's self-doubt. Alex smiled at him, looking down shyly. "What does it feel like?" Zach asked suddenly, as if just to catch Alex's attention again. "To love someone, I mean?" Alex furrowed his brows at him, clearly taken aback. "You know... as like, more than just friends?" Zach looked at Alex expectantly, as if his answer was a matter of life or death. But Alex didn't seem to know how to respond, his cheeks turning red, mouth opening and closing.

"I don't really know to be honest. I don't think anyone knows. You just kind of... love someone I guess. Could be different for everyone and take up different forms depending on the person they love. I'm not really sure I've ever felt it to be honest." said Alex, not really suspecting anything behind Zach's question. "I guess you'd think about them constantly, it would be really intense at first and passionate, but more peaceful as time goes on. You'd feel really warm and happy inside when you're close together." Zach nodded, making a mental checklist to see if he felt that way about Alex.

"Do you love me?" asked Zach, mentally facepalming himself for letting it slip past his lips. He didn't mean to make the conversation any weirder or uncomfortable for Alex, but the vodka had messed with his brain. Alex's lips parted, like an inaudible gasp and a blush creeped across his cheeks again.

"Zach..." Alex started, almost sounding disappointed and Zach completely understood. That was kind of an insensitive question considering he rejected him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask that. I'm just an idiot." said Zach, trying to brush it off. He was completely fine with not getting an answer, though Alex's piercing gaze was still focused on him.

"You know I do, Dempsey. That was kind of the problem, remember?" said Alex, trying to make some of their 'hot banter' as he called it, though Zach could see through his facade for the first time. Alex was hurt. However, bringing the topic up for the first time since their night on the roof seems to have done something to Alex, because he suddenly looked pretty emboldened. "D-Do you?" Zach looked at him then. Alex was nervous, but not backing an inch. Zach could have sworn their faces were suddenly closer together, yet he couldn't get any words to come out. Just as he opened his mouth, there was a loud bang on the door behind him.

Instinctively, Zach put his right arm around Alex, pushing the smaller boy's head to his chest. Alex had closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around Zach. Too tight; he was scared. There was another bang on the door. For a second, Zach thought that maybe that was just principal Bolin, trying to tell them everything was clear, or maybe a student seeking shelter, but there were no sounds coming from the other end. Then, whoever was outside started working on the handle, pushing and pulling violently, trying to get the door to open. "This isn't a drill..." said Zach out loud, not wanting to believe it.

There were a few more bangs on the door, than silence. For half a minute there was nothing. Alex finally opened his eyes and they shared a look. They were close, way too close. All Zach would have to do is lean in a couple of inches and their lips would meet. He wanted to, he realized, but he was frozen in place. Then, they heard footsteps outside. Multiple, heavy footsteps. Whoever was outside, was clearly armed. But then they faded again. Zach let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, and relaxed his grip on Alex. But Alex didn't look calm at all; then, to make matters worse, they heard gunshots outside, not too close, but not too far away either. Zach started taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but the boy next to him only got worse. In fact, he was breathing frantically.

"Alex are you okay?" Zach asked, putting his good arm on his shoulder again.

"I can't breathe." Alex said wheezily, struggling to breathe. "I can't breathe. I think I'm dying!" He said, even more frantically.

"Oh no...Umm..." Zach's face was pure horror as he tried to think about what to do. Zach had been around Alex a lot, even when his TBI was at it's worst, so he was always prepared to handle something like this. "Focus on your hands. Squeeze my hand, come on." Zach said, holding out his hand. But Alex didn't move, his breathing labored. "Come on. I know you can." Zach assured him, grabbing one of his hands into his own. Alex squeezed it, and brought his other hand to hold onto Zach's as well.

"Come on. Alex. Focus on me, okay? Just take deep breaths." Alex nodded at him and started taking deep breathes, never breaking eye contact with each other. "It's gonna be okay, just breathe." Zach reassured him, still holding on to him, but Alex had only increased the tempo of his breaths. "Alex you need to calm down. I'm right here buddy."

"I-I can't..." Alex was sweating and the sound of his voice terrified Zach. Zach brought Alex closer to his body and kissed his forehead.

"Deep breaths... You're having a panic attack, but you're not in any danger. Close your eyes, think about something that makes you happy." Zach said, trying his best to sound as calm as possible so he doesn't panic Alex any further. Zach leaned into him, placing his head lightly onto Alex's shoulder. He calmed his own heartbeat down, and dragged one of Alex's hands, which were still squeezing his own, pver his heart.

"You feel that? That's a steady heartbeat, focus on the rhythm." Zach said gently. To his relief, Alex starting calming down. His breathing grew less and less frantic and within just a few minutes, it was silence between them. Their breathing synchronized and calm, but they still remained in the same position, not letting go. It was only a few minutes later when Alex finally spoke.

"Thank you..." Alex said warmly, leaning away from Zach's embrace and looking him dead in the eyes, the same expression as the one on the rooftop. Full of admiration, of affection, _of love._ Zach's breath hitched. Was that the feeling? They were still close together, the situation annoyingly similar to the one on the rooftop. But Alex didn't dare lean in this time, not after what happened the last time. This time, it was Zach who had to do it. He was either going to kiss him now or forever regret it.

His heart started pumping faster and faster, and he knew that Alex felt it too because his right hand was still resting over his heart. Alex looked at him, confusion written all over his face, and the hint of sadness. He looked ready to completely lean out of Zach's space, but Zach didn't want that. So he leaned in, closing the space between them and pressed his lips to Alex's. He could practically hear the surprise from the other boy. Zach honestly half-expected him to pull away, but he didn't. Instead, the hand that had been squeezing Zach finally let go and made it's way to the crook of Zach's neck. He felt Alex kiss him back, his lips brushing against his own, and that was all he really needed. Zach's hand was numb from the squeezing, but he didn't really mind, choosing to rest it on Alex's cheek.

When they pulled away, Zach saw the happiest little smile on Alex's face. His cheeks were pink, taking deep breaths, his beautiful eyes shining like he was going to cry, only he looked like the happiest person on Earth in that moment. Zach couldn't help it and felt his lips widen into a goofy grin, as he started stroking Alex's hair. But then, the other's boy smile dropped, a calculating expression forming on his face, unsure and worried.

"What was that for?" Alex asked anxiously, eyeing Zach with what can only be described as utter anticipation and lack of confidence.

"I love you too. I wanted you to hear that, in case we don't make it out of this." Alex looked at him strangely, as if he wasn't real. Zach lowered his good hand and intertwined their fingers, smiling at Alex, almost breaking into a giggle. Zach knew they still had so much to say, but for now this had to be enough and they would just have to make it out alive for the rest. Alex seemed to understand, because he squeezed his hand again, gentler this time and smiled in return, leaning into Zach's embrace.

When they heard Clay yelling half an hour later, screaming out that he had their gun now, they were equally relieved and outraged to find out that it had been a drill the whole time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Any feedback/criticism is greatly appreciated! :)


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